A Thousands Paper Cranes Can't Grant My Wish
by susan22
Summary: "How on earth his wish changed from 'I wish Arthur would know I'm magic and doesn't kill me' to 'I wish he'll fall in-love with me?"


**Title**:A Thousands Paper Cranes Can't Grant My Wish  
**Author**: Nightingale-r3 (LJ) / Susan22  
**Rating**: PG  
**Warnings**: spoilers through sessions 1-3  
**Disclaimer**: I wish I owned the series but unfortunately I don't.  
**Beta**: Don't have one yet…  
**Author's Notes (A/N)**: Written for **merlinxarthur**'s fanfic challenge #5. Picture 6. (Go to my profile to see the picture)

**A Thousands Paper Cranes Can't Grant My Wish**

It started about a few months into his services as the prince (or as he liked to say his royal partness) manservant. It was during delivering vials of medicine in the lower city. It was nice from time to time get away from the castle, and from his royal partness. Merlin especially likes to go through the market place; there were so much more thing to buy, things to see it wasn't often he could walk through without rash. It was one of those days, where Merlin went through one vender to anther watching what they selling when one vender seemed to hold his attention. The vender who had just returned from the far east as he told his crowd, demonstrated an unusual technique that he learned there; all he did was folding a piece of paper but by the time he finished the plain piece of paper has turned itself into a crane. Like many of the spectators he was impressed by his skill. The vender than told that in the place he went, the art of folding was called an Origami; he also add that there's a legend that if a person folds 1000 paper cranes than he'll be granted a wish by a crane. Naturally he quickly added that it was a local superstition and didn't hold any truth and once again started to show how to make the paper cranes. Merlin suspected he didn't want to tell more about the legend for fear being suspected that magic was involved. Still magic or no magic it seemed like a nice legend and after a few looks, folding the paper to look like a crane didn't seem so difficult.

He didn't start right than. In fact the issue was completely forgotten after a few days. That was up until the Sophia debacle. That was he made his first crane that is after a few failed attempts. It also when he wished he could trust Arthur with his secret and not kill him of course. He didn't really know why it was after the Sophia incident that he started to do the cranes – it wasn't as if he hadn't wished the same wish before – many times before. Maybe it was seeing Arthur drawn, a thought that made him shudder each time; or maybe he was tired of the lies, hiding a part of himself from someone he could almost cal a friend. He just needed to take his frustration somehow. Anyway once he made his first crane he know he's going to make it until he reach 1000 – if just so he have something to do, something to erase this helpless feeling of not telling Arthur the truth.

At first he didn't notice, but how on earth his wish changed from "I wish Arthur would know I'm magic and doesn't kill me" to "I wish he'll fall in-love with me"? He barely registered when his own feeling started to change. Perhaps it started when the Questing Beast bit him and he went willingly to exchange his own life for Arthur, maybe it started earlier. All he knew is that he was in love and his object of affection wasn't in love with him – worse still there were signs that he might be in love with Gwen. There was nothing he could do about it, other than trying to be as supportive as he can guiltily wishing it was him and not her. At last he wasn't alone in this situation – Lancelot felt the same way too. By that time he managed to fold 300 cranes.

Sometimes he wished he could love someone else – someone who won't break his heart. He had 500 cranes when his wish seemed to come true in the form of Freya. She was sweet, kind and like himself – magic. In a way she was everything he wished for. For once he thought he could have a life with her – forget Arthur and his so called destiny. For once maybe he could be happy with her.

It was a short lived dream.

It seems he couldn't escape either his destiny or his feeling.

As time passed on he seemed to have more and more wishes: 'I wish I could save Morgana', 'I wish Balinor hasn't died', 'I wish I never listened to the great dragon', 'I wish I could turn back time', the last one seemed to be far more frequent than the rest almost as frequent as his wish for Arthur to return his feelings.

It was after defeating Morgana's immortal army and with Arthur as acting as king; he reached his final crane. Only now he had no idea what to wish for – he had so many things he wanted. He decided to make a list of all his wishes before folding the last crane.

In the end it seemed his list contained more of his regrets than wishes. Only two wishes seem to stick his original one and the second that followed. How on earth either of them could come true? Merlin highly doubted Arthur would be willingly accepting his magic after Morgana's betrayal and as far as returning his feeling – he highly doubted.

Merlin wrote his two wishes on a piece of paper, thinking he would return to them latter on and decided what he wanted more and wish for it as he folded the last crane – as hopelessly task as it might be.

When he came back to his list he saw that it no longer contained only two wishes but anther wish in a handwriting he was vary familiar – Arthur; it said "I wish you would tell me the truth".

It was than that he folded his last crane wishing for wishes he could never fulfill – since neither seemed very likely to come true. But at least there was one wish he could make true – 1000 paper crane or no.


End file.
